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Thursday, November 30, 2017

Most Nigerian Men Are Now Afraid That Women Will Kill Them’ – New Study

In the wake of the unfortunate death of Bilyamin Bello, son of a former Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party, there has been a somewhat surprising chatter about matricide.
In an ironic twist of Margaret Atwood’s quote, “men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them”, Nigerian men are now the ones displaying the fear of spousal violence. While men as victims too should be taken seriously enough, we should also resist attempts by people who want to propagate a spurious idea of gender violence by assessing issues with a false scale.

There is no statistical equivalence to the violence men and women suffer in domestic relationships. It is disingenuous to pretend that men are also frequent victims but whose pain is unfairly obscured by feminist sympathies.

The data suggest that at least one in three women has reported a case of domestic violence and as many as double that figure experience one form of domestic violence or the other. The most reliable and recent data is that of Lagos State that showed that in the first nine months of this year alone, 852 cases were reported. Of that figure, the men’s cases of domestic abuse were only 55 instances.

If we generalise with the figure, it means about 95 per cent of the time, women are the victims of various forms of domestic violence. Even if we adjust for varying factors such as ethnicity, religion, class, educational level, and so on, women will still be the bulk of the victims and men are the ones who carry out these acts of violence.

Bello’s death might have proved that any and every one can be a victim. What it does not change is that women are the more frequent victims.

Personally, I believe that much of the sensation around Bello’s death has been more of the twin interwoven factors: class and ethnicity, rather than genuine sympathies for the deceased. If the couple were not from a prominent family, they probably would not make front page news. Also, they are northerners.

In the patronising imagination of the southerners who dominate the media channels, the image of the northern woman must be that of one who is a perpetual victim of Islamist patriarchy; her veiled head symbolic of her equally veiled mind. The one woman that has (allegedly) diverged from this stereotypical script was instantly hailed as a revolutionary heroine by some febrile minds whose small minds turn severe issues to revanchist rhetoric like “battle of the sexes.”

One suspects that those two factors have made this incident compelling to the point that men feel vulnerable in a way they have never done before. If, therefore, men are now afraid that women too can kill them, then they will begin to understand the conditions under which many women have lived for long.

If men understand the fear of spousal abuse the way women have lived its reality for many years, then our society might finally have a much-needed enlightened debate around domestic violence and hopefully make some progress. Women have borne the brunt of the unevenness of power and which has predisposed them to domestic violence for so long their suffering is frequently downplayed, normalised, and even rationalised.

One can hardly go through three Yoruba films today without being assaulted with narratives that perpetuate violence and aggression against women. These stories are especially disturbing because their anti-women violence is hardly ever interrogated. Instead, women’s pain is represented as some kind of necessity and a self-denial that ultimately induces moral resolve or higher virtue. Whereas abuse is needless and oppressive. It diminishes people’s dignity.

Women themselves tend to accept abuse as inevitable because, really, they have few options. They are bracketed on all sides by their relative lack of economic empowerment, socio-cultural expectations, religion, and legal infrastructures that do not guarantee their rights. I have been part of women support group fora where I have been baffled by how women further victimise one another by telling other abuse victims to seek spiritual help when physically and emotionally abused by their spouses.

They tell the victims to pray so that God can change the hearts of their men. They advise them to watch War Room; to minimise one another and maximise their husband’s ego so that the manlier he feels, the less likely he would be violent. They teach one another to live with demeaning situations because, somehow, society has tied their ideas of personal virtue to being coupled. Thank God for other enlightened women who challenged these fellow women on their thinking. The fact that abuse has been ossified into social norms does not make it “normal.”

Men who languish in situations of domestic abuse do so largely because they are entrapped within our society’s outdated ideas of masculinity that thinks “real men” always have the brute physical force to “control” their women. Men who do not fit into these vacuous presumptions of male behaviour find themselves silenced by the social expectations that reserve aggression for only their gender.

To win the battle against domestic violence, we need to turn moments of public passion such as this into a productive one. We need to take domestic violence more seriously. Men, especially the ones with economic, physical, and political power who think they are insulated from domestic violence should understand that the campaign against domestic violence is not just a shrill cry by women advocates who want to wave the victim card for nothing. It has been a lived reality for women.

The problem is not the paucity of laws. Despite the few retrogressive religious laws in the penal code that allows men to beat women as a correct measure, Nigeria has enough in her books to fight domestic violence. Lagos State, for instance, has a model that is responsive to issues of domestic violence and which should be imitated by other states. The Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act of 2015 can go a long way to protect victims. There is a lot more to be done to make laws enforceable and effective – from training officials to handle issues better, to providing enough resources to prosecute the overwhelming number of cases.

However, domestic violence persists because there is a vast chasm between formal structures that purports to protect victims and the informal means of adjudication that treats these issues as “family matters.” People who should make an official report against their partners find themselves encumbered by cultural sentiments that re-victimise them. Ours is a society where serial wife-beaters are even elected lawmakers. How does a woman win against a system that gives an abusive spouse power to make laws that will ultimately translate to ensuring human rights and dignity?

Finally, a lot of problems can be made less knotty if, collectively, we relax some of our ideas about marriage. We need to tell men and women that no match was made in heaven and people who are unlucky to choose a wrong partner need not die in a ruinous union trying to prove what is not. We should re-evaluate our values and understand that it takes bravery to pick up what is left of one’s self-respect and walk rather than put up a perfect front for social media. Marriage is no ultimate achievement for anyone.

No man needs to prove his masculinity by tolerating a violent wife to “tame” her eventually. No woman should be blackmailed with the false notion that they have an intrinsic essence that can change a man; men are not growing babies who forever need mothering. People should be empowered to walk to save their lives and their sanity. Divorce should be no stigma; those who walk out of toxic relationships deserve to live a healthy life, and happily ever after too. (Punch)

Charly Boy Starts Sit Out At The Libyan Embassy, Abuja, In Protest Against The Ongoing Slave Trade In Libya

Charlie boy who is currently protestung as we speak retweeted the series of tweets from @OurMumuDonDo and @Adebayoraph:

Our peaceful demonstration today at the Libya Embassy Abuja against the barbaric selling and buying of Nigerians in Libya.

Nigerians with conscience were there. You too can join us again at the Foreign Affairs Commission on Monday.

#EndSlaveTrade #OurMumuDonDo

Nigerians are being sold as slaves for as low as $400 in Libya but the president of Nigeria is busy hobnobbing with other carefree African presidents.

Have we no shame anymore?

Was Nigeria cursed to have leaders like this ?

There is injustice everywhere. There will always be injustice everywhere. What we must not do is to sit and allow injustice anywhere. Even if we have to die like a soldier in the end, we must fight these injustices till we draw our last breathe.

The slavery transaction that we see in Libya today did not start yesterday. It has been there for a long time, since Stone Age, I dare to say. As it is in Libya today, so it was in prehistoric Nigeria; circa 11000BC in the Hausa Kingdoms.

Slavery will end only in a Nigeria, and indeed, a Africa, where there are no nobles and there are no commoners. For the courage to sell humans as slaves comes from the thinking that one is higher than the other human being.

Photos: Nigerian Lady Doing Her Youth Service Flogs Her An SS2 Boy Almost 50strokes Of Cane For Calling Her “Aunty Ass” And Asking Her Out

This young lady named Josep’s ‏ @Bumbabili is currently going viral on twitter after she revealed that she was nicknamed “Aunty ass” and then had to flog an ss2 student who asked her out

Lol so today my sss2 student told me, aunty you are my wife i can pay your brideprice Long story short i flogged him for every letter of his name. And i Multiplied it by 2 since he’s in ss2,

When I got my posting letter and came to my ppa. My employer asked me to pls be the science teacher. When the kids saw a female teaching physics, they laughed at me all day. Till I gave the whole class frog jump for thirty mins

Now, two months later, I still joke with them. I mean they’re my kids. But e get limit. They even nicknamed me aunty idi. Im still trying to figure out who gave me that name tho

see a reaction that went viral;

by @Bimzee_
I experienced something similar during my service year. The girl is stubborn, I always flog her and she opened up one day, “Uncle you are always beating me, I know you don’t love me but I love you” I was shocked but since that day I’ve started calling her my sister. Jss2 girl

Because assuming you kept quiet and did say or do anything to the kid when he said that, u will just notice that he will grow in confidence and might even decide to tap that ass one day, oh myyyy

Photos: 11year Old Child Gives Birth To A Baby

According to a french facebook page named First Magazine who shared these photos an 11year old child has just given birth to a child, according to them she was impreganeted by her elder brother:
Seen on the net
Amazing but true! A 11-Year-old girl just gave birth to a baby. Both Children (mama and baby) are doing well as you see them here in l’ hospital. NB: she was pregnant by his handsome brother named Moussa Oulen from gueckedou

Update!!! After Carrying Out More Investigation we just found out the post was originally posted by A Page named Konia Media group

below is how they captioned it;
Amazing but true! A 11-Year-old girl just gave birth to a baby. Both Children (mama and baby) are doing well as you see them here in l’ hospital. NB: she was pregnant by his brother-in-law a criminal named Moussa Oulen aged 50 from gueckedou. What do you think of this man?


The Ziggybag Soldier TEDDY ZIGGY is back with another Classic Culture Sound Titled #Osamudiamen 
Please Download.Enjoy and Share.

VIDEO: Soft – Tattoo

VIDEO/ AUDIO: Soft – Tattoo

“Smash9ja Promotions Presents SOFT – TATTOO (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
Born October 5th 1999, Dagogo Records Signed Artist, “SOFT” Real Names Collins Uche Faith, Who Less Than A Month After Dropping His First Official Single, A Banging Jam Titled “TATTOO”, Which is Currently Making Waves on Radio Stations, Disturbing Social Media & Clubs,
Dishes Out The Official Video To His Trending Hit Single “TATTOO”.

Produced By Ozedikus
Directed By Adasa Cookey.

Connect With SOFT on Social Media

Instagram: @Officialsoft_
Twitter: @Officialsoft_”

VIDEO: Wizboyy ft. Zoro – Ogaranya

“Wizboyy returns just in time for the festive season with another hit-bound collaboration titled ‘Ogaranya’. The star musician sings about the good life, reminisces and inspires on the track which features indigenous rapper Zoro.

‘Ogaranya’ is a highlife number with solid production built on heavy and steady percussion setting the tone for Wizboyy’s brilliant vocal delivery. Watch the full video for the Paul Gambit – directed visual”

Poetic Ken – Nwata (Refix)

Poetic Ken – Nwata (Refix)

“Afro Beat prodigy Poetic Ken captures our hearts with the visuals of his new dope single *NWATA* (Refix) Produced by Original Beatz .
His sound is revolutionary,subtle and rhythmically melodious.He charismatically bites off the pure elements of Afrobeat and blends it with fragments of high life to produce this sweet unique sound.Go check out this brilliant music.

VIDEO: Galaktiq ft. Olamide – Bottles

VIDEO: Galaktiq ft. Olamide – Bottles

“Texas based duo singer, Galaktiq unwraps the official music video to their latest single titled “Enough” featuring Ybnl boss Olamide.
Directed by P4MKOBENA.

Watch, download below & enjoy”

Nollywood Actress, Makida Moka Gets Engaged, Reveals How Her Ex-boyfriend’s Absence Got Her Hooked To The Love Of Her Life

Beautiful model and actress, Makida Moka, is engaged to her man, Oliver Onyekweli. Makida announced their engagement on her IG page. She shared photos of herself and her man during their introduction that took place recently and wrote

‘M.M and O.O. He came to officially ask my family because first of all INTRODUCTION. ???? #MO18xFOREVER
#makidamoka #Makidamoka25#TheRoadToBeingMrsOnyekweli
#BeingMrsOnyekweli #MMOforshort
#Theyvecometoaskforme#weddingbellsarebeginningtoring#img alt=’Model and actress, Makida Moka gets engaged, reveals how her ex-boyfriend’s absence got her hooked to the love of her life’ class=’img-responsive text-center’ style=’margin: auto;’ettingmarried #Oliversbabygirl#thankful #blessed #grateful #loveit’.

Congrats to them! On twitter, Makida revealed how her ex-boyfriend’s absence got her hooked to the love of her life, Oliver. Read below

Nigerian Man Gets His Parents Arrested After He Came Back From Italy To Discover They’ve Been Sending Him Pictures Of A Fake House He Was Sending Them

A Nigerian man based in Italy has reportedly gotten his 65 year old father and 56 year old mum arrested for allegedly sending him pictures of a fake house they were building for him while in Italy. Facebook user, Nnamdi Victor who shared the story online wrote;

‘One of us just locked his parents up in police cell. His 65 year old father and 56 year old mother slept in police cell last night with an instruction that anyone who comes close to bail them should be locked up too. I know what the parents did are wrong but I have been pleading with him since last week not to toe this path. There are many ways to solve issues like this.

If your parents do same to you, would you have done exactly what he did or you would have handled it differently? Hear him :

“Ben, I’m sorry I have to do what I did. You won’t understand how painful it is to be hustling here only to find out that my stupid and greedy parents were just wasting all my efforts on frivolities. Like you already know, I have been in Italy doing all kinds of menial jobs just to put food on my table and make some savings. I have been here for six good years but I have never visited Nigeria. I have been sending some cash to my parents to help me buy two plots of land and start building on it for all of us because we have suffered enough as a family, paying rent always.

Ben do you know that my foolish parents only bought one plot of land and nothing has been going on there apart from the initial foundation.? In fact they started the foundation recently when they knew I will be visiting Nigeria. They have been sending me fake pictures of my house. Bro I’m mad. I don’t know what they used all the money for. They don’t know how I managed to make these savings. Omg I just wasted six years in Italy without anything to show for it. If I can’t trust my own parents, who then can I trust?

I will spend the remaining money I have with me on police to make sure they remained there until I go back to start a new hustle. Please Ben if you have a trusted lady in her late thirties who can build with me, kindly hook me up to her. I can’t trust these foolish parents of mine again.”

Nigerian lady dies ahead of child dedication just few months after her wedding (Photos)

ributes are pouring in for a serving Youth corper, Idongesit Emmanuel Inuk popularly known as Eka Iban- following her tragic demise.
According to online reports from her friends, the pretty lady died just few months after her glamorous wedding and was preparing for her child’s dedication before passing away.

Her burial was held today 29th November, 2017 at The Lutheran Church of Nigeria, Holy Trinity Cathedral, Itiam Ikot Ebia, Uyo, Akwa Ibom state.

May her soul rest in peace.

2017 MOBO Awards: Wizkid Becomes The First African Artist To Win “Best International Act”, Davido Wins Best African Act

Nigerian starboy, Wizkid has made history as he becomes the first African artist to win “Best International Act” at the MOBO Awards which held last night.
He has now joined the likes of Eminem, Drake, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Beyoncé as winners of the category.

Davido also won the Best African act category. See full list of winners below….


The 2017 Mobo winners in full, Best male act: Stormzy …Best female act: Stefflon Don,,, Best album: Stormzy – Gang Signs & Prayer

Best newcomer: Dave,,, Best song: J Hus – Did You See,,, Best video: Mist – Hot Property,,, Best hip-hop act: Giggs,,, Best grime act: Stormzy

Best R&B/soul act: Craig David,,, Best international act: Wizkid,,,, Best African act: Davido,,,, Best reggae act: Damian Marley

Best jazz act: Moses Boyd,,,,, Best gospel act: Volney Morgan & New-Ye
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